9 volts
I have returned to Baltimore, Maryland in the year 2011. I came back earlier than my other housemates in order to get more hours at work; meaning, my bank account is squirming and squealing and accusing me of horrid abuse.
So thus, I spend my first night here...alone. Now this may not seem like a big deal; however, one must consider the facts: I am a downright namby-pamby (thank you thesaurus.com) with an outrageously active imagination. This means shower curtains must be checked, dead-bolts are not to lull one into a false sense of security, and every outside sound means danger. Woo hoo!
After forcing a friend to skype with me for about an hour and a half during which she patiently explained to me that there is not a sociopathic stalker out to get me and that I am indeed a 22 year old capable of independent existence, I decided to go to sleep. I'm laying in bed, listening to the metronomic tick of the clock which I enjoy, browsing through youtube videos of sleep meditations and streaming nature sounds. The gentle rain from the Amazon is soothing, and the frogs are croaking me a bedtime story, and the only interruption is an intermittent chirping from the smoke detector with a low battery. It's been pretty easy to ignore and so I'm relaxing, feeling good...then the second chirping starts.
I suppose the one chirping detector drained it's friend's energy, because now there are two chirpers, and of they're not in sync. A fugue of beeps. Awful. I try to ignore it; I try focus on the fact that I've now been transported to the pacific and the waves are crashing in and the ocean wants me to breathe deeply. But like the damn tell-tale heart, these things are creeping into my psyche.
I can't reach either device because the stepstool cannot elevate my small stature high enough. So I'm pacing around my room, headed for insanity. I decide to take a shower, because at least in there, I can't hear "blllip! blllip! BLLLLLIP!!" What do I discover? I had turned off the water heater to save energy. So I walk down to the basement to turn it back on. What to my wandering eyes did appear? A ladder! I frantically take it up the steps, and I'm sure I have some wild look in my eye. I climb to the offending chirper and examine. I need a 9 V battery. That little block of energy can save what's left of my sanity.
Superfresh is open 24 hours, so I head up there at 2 in the morning, looking like a one night stand. Long mesh shorts, uggs, sweatshirt, puffy vest, disheveled hair, confused look and all, I head to the batteries. AA, AAAA... tons of those... they had C batteries, even D batteries (who uses those?) but 9V are nowhere to be found. I stood there for a few minutes, as if they would just appear or something, out of thin air, like I'm Harry Potter and in front of me would appear a room FULL of 9V batteries.
An employee walked up to me, a little hesitantly, the way one would approach a stray dog. "Sweetie, what are you looking for?" I tell her I need a 9V battery because my alarm won't stop beeping. She told me that happened in her house and her boyfriend just cut the wires. I shook this idea out of my head quickly to avoid permanent damage to myself and/or others. She disappeared into the abyss of aisles and returned to me with a most precious pearl...a 9V battery. I think she was concerned for my well being because she walked me to the self checkout and proceeded to perform the transaction for me. I wanted to hug her but my better judgement told me this was inappropriate.
I returned home and with the utmost glee replaced the battery. I quieted the tell-tale heart. Victory is mine.
So thus, I spend my first night here...alone. Now this may not seem like a big deal; however, one must consider the facts: I am a downright namby-pamby (thank you thesaurus.com) with an outrageously active imagination. This means shower curtains must be checked, dead-bolts are not to lull one into a false sense of security, and every outside sound means danger. Woo hoo!
After forcing a friend to skype with me for about an hour and a half during which she patiently explained to me that there is not a sociopathic stalker out to get me and that I am indeed a 22 year old capable of independent existence, I decided to go to sleep. I'm laying in bed, listening to the metronomic tick of the clock which I enjoy, browsing through youtube videos of sleep meditations and streaming nature sounds. The gentle rain from the Amazon is soothing, and the frogs are croaking me a bedtime story, and the only interruption is an intermittent chirping from the smoke detector with a low battery. It's been pretty easy to ignore and so I'm relaxing, feeling good...then the second chirping starts.
I suppose the one chirping detector drained it's friend's energy, because now there are two chirpers, and of they're not in sync. A fugue of beeps. Awful. I try to ignore it; I try focus on the fact that I've now been transported to the pacific and the waves are crashing in and the ocean wants me to breathe deeply. But like the damn tell-tale heart, these things are creeping into my psyche.
I can't reach either device because the stepstool cannot elevate my small stature high enough. So I'm pacing around my room, headed for insanity. I decide to take a shower, because at least in there, I can't hear "blllip! blllip! BLLLLLIP!!" What do I discover? I had turned off the water heater to save energy. So I walk down to the basement to turn it back on. What to my wandering eyes did appear? A ladder! I frantically take it up the steps, and I'm sure I have some wild look in my eye. I climb to the offending chirper and examine. I need a 9 V battery. That little block of energy can save what's left of my sanity.
Superfresh is open 24 hours, so I head up there at 2 in the morning, looking like a one night stand. Long mesh shorts, uggs, sweatshirt, puffy vest, disheveled hair, confused look and all, I head to the batteries. AA, AAAA... tons of those... they had C batteries, even D batteries (who uses those?) but 9V are nowhere to be found. I stood there for a few minutes, as if they would just appear or something, out of thin air, like I'm Harry Potter and in front of me would appear a room FULL of 9V batteries.
An employee walked up to me, a little hesitantly, the way one would approach a stray dog. "Sweetie, what are you looking for?" I tell her I need a 9V battery because my alarm won't stop beeping. She told me that happened in her house and her boyfriend just cut the wires. I shook this idea out of my head quickly to avoid permanent damage to myself and/or others. She disappeared into the abyss of aisles and returned to me with a most precious pearl...a 9V battery. I think she was concerned for my well being because she walked me to the self checkout and proceeded to perform the transaction for me. I wanted to hug her but my better judgement told me this was inappropriate.
I returned home and with the utmost glee replaced the battery. I quieted the tell-tale heart. Victory is mine.
